My Ma's 3rd Anniversary

It was on this day (according to the Hindu Calender), three years ago that I lost my Ma. It was so sudden that it was, as if, I was hit by a sledgehammer. I can still recall the day. I was in office when I got a call from Baba that Ma had to be hospitalised. I could think of nothing but on how to get on the next flight to Calcutta. I don't recall how I managed to get a ticket but I was travelling alone. When I reached home and started packing up I get a call from my brother telling me 'Ma is no more'. I just froze up! not a single drop of tear. I remember going to the Corporation Bank ATM to withdraw cash for a second air ticket for my wife. Flew into Calcutta, that was in the midst of a heavydown pour. As I write the images come up vividly in my mind's eye - my brother and Minku (brothers friend) were waiting outside the terminal. We just couldn't speak. Drove down towards home, brought cigarettes on the way (a 20's pack I remember). The downpour had been so heavy that we were water logged right upto our front gate. There was Ma, in the small front verandah, lying on the cot - as if sleeping. Someone had smeared sindur on her forehead. I just stared! My Pishimoni was there and I remember seeing my wife breakdown. I remember touching Ma, patting her hands, which I loved doing when she was alive.

Everything was in an automode for me. Took Ma to the crematorium atop a truck which we had to cover with a tarpulin due to the steady drizzle that was on. Remember laying down Ma, who had by now been transferred on a makeshift bamboo ladder (for the sake of a better expression), on the cold hard floor of the crematorium. I just can't explain what I went through when I saw this! The endless Q dosen't even spare the dead. Smoked I don't know how many cigarettes before her turn came. I saw the body for the last time being pushed into the electric chamber, and darkness for those left behind.

I remember Ma every single day of my life, more so when I pray before going to sleep. I still carry out the one act that she told me to to do before I go to sleep - write a virtual 'Ma' on the pillow using your fingers. You shall forever banish nightmares!

Also read my brothers remembrance of Ma in his blog. Click on the link below (Opens in a new window):
I Love My Mom